butterfly__________

Monday, October 17, 2005
1:49 PM

Church was really exciting today. i mean really. i expected everyone to be angry with me cos i didnt turn up for all e stuff outside of services when i had my exams. i sitll do. mb they r. i cant read their hearts. but they do seem welcoming still.

ya. den had our praise and worship session! tt was awesome. tchr actually said i cant sing for month of nov cos she was worried tt i cant handle singing still la. but after today she declare tt i can! YEA! Thank God for helping me to be calm. to be able to lead. even tho there were some cork-ups. haha.

like i stood up there for a full 5 mins stunned cos the ppt slides couldnt work. n den finally i told the congregation to sit down. i admit tt was rather slow of me but its onli my 2nd time! my retardity is forgivable. n i guess its a gd experience cos tis has neva happened other times b4 so yupz theres always a first. n it jus happened on me.

please.......do not offer solutions to me. do not tell me what u wud do if u were in my shoes. i agree tt they r very gd solutions. but. u noe wad. it has happened. i wunt feel bad cos i didnt do it the way u wud have done. cos i knew what God wanted me to do n i did. do not reprimand me. cos i alreayd feel bad as it is. i checked e slides 3 times!!! its jus arghz tt the slides got blocked accidentally.

i tend to get defensive really easily as u can c. its jus a firewall built around me. parson me for my crudeness if u happen to read tis n im not attackin anyone personally jus genearl comments. but the adults were NICE. like uncle qing bao n vanessa's dad. they r so patient n helpful towards. me. God bless them. without their help and God's guidance, i wudnt have opened up n sang! i cudnt sing last time. i mean mb i still cant. but at least now Im singing for Him. n i do think my singing ahs improved. A live testimonial!.

butterfly___________