butterfly__________

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
11:16 PM

I do not like it when people talk about me behind my back, nor do I like to hear you talk about me in front of me, telling me how you and another friend talked about me behind my back, then transferring the content of the conversation in front of me.

I am an angry kid today.

I like my birthday ok. It's 08021988. Don't give me shit about it. It is the day I was born to this earth. This is the day my mom endured c-section to give birth to me. I have 3 8s in my birthday. No, it doesnt mean that I am a sanba.It just means that I am very lucky.

I am so pissed. I realise how mean it is to joke about another person's deeds and sayings in front of her. Especially when they are supposed to be your friends.

I like my mom. I love her , ok? Only I can bully my mom. And even so, I seldom bully my mom, I try so hard to please her. I like to talk about my mom ok, she is a cool person. She can sew 100 dresses in a month ok. Beat it. Even though she can be quite irritating at times.

She just had to tease me when I talk about my mom. They just have to tease me when I talk about my birthday. I celebrate life ok? Especially it is my own life. They have to make me so upset. What kind of friends are they? She said in front of me:"XX and I are betting whether you are gonna remind us of your birthday again this year...hurhur.."

Whatever. I don't expect anything. I don not want presents from you ok. You give me I also won't accept. You 2 are just too mean to me. I pride myself in treating you nicely already. You just disappoint me so. To bet on me is not a funny thing. I will not talk about my birthday ever again. If it makes you so freaking happy.

I am just so down today. I am only happy when I am with Smiley and my friends from class. They hardly make me upset. I see my classmates/friends I feel happy. I see Dra I feel happy. Only a hug, a hello or even a handshake will do. I just need you to recognise my presence.

She just told me I'm arrogant. Not the above two she. But another She. I guess I am. Have always been this way. Tried changing but failed miserably. I think she equates high profile to being arrogant. What can I be arrogant about? I have no contributions, no talent, no aptitude for math. I am like a slug. ew.

Fine. I will wallow in my own self-pity. I seldom dislike people. But man oh man, when i dislike, she has died 10000 times in my brain already. Dra tells me not to ill treat myself by being mad at a worthless person. Fine I will contain myself. Thanks Alicia Keys for being ever so supportive of me, and even scold the person i hate with me. Thank you.

I keep sighing. I keep hating. I keep swearing. I keep cursing. At the end of the day, the person who is injured the most is me. I do not like it when people tell me my faults. I tell you, I got countless, ok. I know them. you do not need to spell it out. I CAN TELL. or else why wud i be so upset.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO SO SO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRUSTRATED.

Encourage me. Not like the way Clarence does though:( I shall cease to exist.

butterfly___________