butterfly__________

Tuesday, August 15, 2006
5:26 PM

Taysi can feel all the food she had eaten rising up her oesophagus.* Is this how you spell it? She's going to puke anytime soon.

Disgusted with herself. Her brain. Her personality. Her behaviour.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

I am sick and tired of this person who nowadays constantly feels inferior! and stupid!! and talentless!!! and just an empty worthless shell who is wasting the meagre space that she is wasting on earth.

I am so so tired.

This is so not the time for this type of crap. I don't have time for this. I really don't. Stop it. stop it.

That idiot of a man. Never use his brain twice when he speaks. If want to say something critical of moi, 1. say it in front of me, 2. say it behind me DON'T EVER SAY IT TO PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME, thinking that I'm invisible. So what so what. AHAHAHAHA

OMG. look at that childist thinking! I wish I wish I can stop that. I do not want to behave so childishly anymore. Will there be a day that I see past all these?

Criticisms. Competiton. Comparison. AAHAHAAHAHA.

I am so exasperated.

I do not want to carry it to my grave my burden, my secrets. My angst, my childish behaviour. I do not want to be barred entry to heavens the day I die because I carried so much hatred and angst to my grave.

I want a clean slate of faith.

I am not an angel.:(

Oh God, help.

butterfly___________