butterfly__________

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
12:21 AM

I can't help but worry.

I still haven't see a doctor. I thought I'm ok le. Until I started having weird coloured excrement. Now I am spooked. Weird stomach plus weird shit. This is dead.

It can't be possibly stress, right?
Hai. It appears that I must see my doctor to destress myself tomorrow. Nowadays, see doctor really tamade expensive. :(

I am very afraid to get sick.
There is this weird culture in my family- we are scared to get sick. Because my uncle died from being sick.

Once one enters the op theatre, it seems almost destinied that he or she will die. It's like a pre-gate to death or something.

Death itself is not daunting.
It's more like sick to death that is scary.

Sigh.

Suddenly all types of scary thoughts flash across my mind.

What if it is Liver cancer>>>>> I asked my friends, but they say I don't have yellow face.
What if it is once again, my greatest feared diabetes?????
Or, Stomach cancer?
Gastric cancer.
Hai, as I am speaking, the stupid computer is bombarding me with all the radio waves that can cause me cancer!!! So is the stupid phone that hangs around me. Do you know that by putting an egg and a handphone inside the same water, the egg can can actually be cooked!!!! By the radio waves!!!!

I guess I should have more faith in God:D

I still have a hearty appetite.
I sleep well.
My weight is not decreasing all of a sudden.

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?????

My dad says he will bring me to doctor tomorrow. Hopefully it's going to cost less than $40. Stupid doctors. Why can't they practise price discrimination>????? My parents have a hard time earning money, can????

I can't afford to get sick in this country. It's too expensive.:(

butterfly___________