butterfly__________

Monday, October 02, 2006
12:10 AM

I knew that going to church was a wise decision. Not that I intend to skip it but it really felt great to dwell in God's santuary.

Sometimes I do feel ashamed that new Christians can quote the bible a lot better than I can.

From Yin hou came Psalm 85:12 12 The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.

From Lindy came James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

From God came psalm 85:12 and James 1 :D

I will not be defeated.
I fall only to rise again.:)

I mean, I once read somewhere that God only gives you the amount He Thinks you can take.
As logical as it may seem, sometimes I wonder, oh God, why give me so much?
Maybe He thinks I am very capable.:D

From Church friends came words of encouragement. Was highly touched that Justin in his absolute silence during the week that I shared Word paid utmost attention and shared the same story with his Dad. Wahaha. Thank you Christie, for your gentle attitude with me. And thank you the rest of church for the incessant patience with the horrible me. And I must thank God, because maybe he is giving me a chance to be His testimony.

I can only feel my faith and strength going for zero to a lot.

From Close friends came words of encouragement too.:D Daily checks of are you feeling ok today? It's good to cry to let out your frustration. Take care. I wish some who didn't would do it too. Haiya. Sometimes I am just too greedy. Thank you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you.

Must even thank Ms Li because due to her lack of experience with bawling 18 years old girls, she messaged me today and told me I will be fine and asked to see me tomorrow at 10 am. I need adult authority to calm me down.

Love my parents really. Their curtailing of tv time. Kinder to me.

Even the dust in my room seem a whole lot lesser now.

I should not get too worried.
It's all there. I just need to find 1. my confidence back.

I realise what zixian said is very true. My mind was like blocked for 1 year plus due to my many attempts of saying " I suck at this." Now, they seem to have cleared because I wrote " I am smart" on my board.

I don't fear math and mcq much more. Because I am a lot more calm today. Though sleepy.
With no expectation, maybe I will perform better.
Sometimes I just try overly-hard.
Maybe I should just relax a little.
It should be fine.

Ode to Taysi.

butterfly___________