butterfly__________

Wednesday, March 14, 2007
12:15 AM

if there is anything I dont like it is people doubting my intelligencei am insane about that if there is a way to get on my nerves it is to call me stupid over the years I have mastered the skill of convincing myself that i am stupid despite that i do not wished to be known to everyone as the stupid fat bitch it hurts ok to know that you are not as smart as a lot of people though you can be quite smart at times a lot of self belief is needed in a person like me the need to believe that i am bright the need to believe that i am pretty the need to believe that something divine has control of my life so that it wouldnt spin out of control and if you are still reading this paragraph oh boy you really are interested in what i write and what i am writing because writing without punctuations can be really tough and reading it is even tougher and this issue is not targeted at anyone and i truly mean it i just feel that when we are talking to people we have to be aware and conscious not to hurt anyone's ego or pride because that is what many people value including yours truly i feel that even if you want to doubt someone and shoot someone with your words please do consider that he or she might be so full of herself and confident of her ability meaning that she tells you her fantastic grades over and over again and tells you of her aspirations and tells you what she likes an yet you still DOUBT her and wham bam and that is how you hurt her and no i continue to insist that this is not shooting at anyone but almost everyone always commits the same mistake and do not doubt my ability nor criticise me nor judge me and never ever DOUBT me because DOUBTING is the most horrible thing you can do to a person because you never gave him or her a chance to prove herself in the first place so yeah it hurts more than any criticism or judgement because she was already condemned before she even began and being condemned for something that people have done and already done and can do how can a person doubt me a person who truly believes in her own self worth and is confident the least you can do is to encourage and continue to boost her ego not deflate it when she hasnt even got her balloon of ego yet and so it really does hurt but never mind that i will get over it because the only thing ive never gotten over is my inability to lose weight and ive been so caught up in it because i feel that it is my own failure and ive never requested god's help in this matter and so that remains as my fault and screw you you stupid bitch who over exercised in that long sleeves shirt plus short sleeves shirt pig woman how dare you doubt me when i tell you what i got and how dare you postponed wanting me and now i am going to reject you only because me and me and me can do that and if you are still reading this entry mine oh mine you really have got time because dear taysi today is in a freaking pissed off mood and i really must thank god for making the way i am if not i would have suffered under the claws of many people because oh yea i am not pretty oh yea i have recognised yet and oh yea i am fat and oh yea call me ah bui and ah pui and shit fatty and fat bitch or whatever but you can never ever doubt my personality because i am the most loyal friend i know because i might be ngiao in terms of money but i am never ngiao with my advice or praises or friendship or support and how can you doubt me when i so generously gave you my love and friendship without the blink of an eye and i asked you to listen when the best is up for grabs and i made you happy and lent you a shoulder when you are sad i am a FRIEND ok and this is not shooting at anyone once again and sometimes i really do hope that i can contract diseases such as bullimia or anorexia i tink u must be thinking my brain i wired but i can tell you that the only type of people who have 0 percent of contracting these two diseases are gluttons who more than often happen to be fat people and yes this issue is about obesity and your friend me has been plagued with it since birth and if you are still reading there is really no coherence in this entire entry night there are no punctuations because i cant write and this is really not going to offend anyone because the only person i am pissed off at is myself because i am not good enough

butterfly___________